THIS IS NOT A REVIEW

Uncertain. The cereal aisle in the grocery store is usually one of the familiarities. We go from box to box, choosing the staples of our morning routines because we know what we like, we’re used to it - but not today. Today we have a choice to make between two things that are the same but different. On the left, old reliable, Scary O’s. Funny, crunchy, and tart. Its crunchy knife-shaped grains complement its marshmallow organs. It even turns the milk red if it sits too long, which it often does. The box art and sinister sneer of its mascot might shift here and there but no matter how much it changes it remains what it has always been: a reliable, enjoyable morning treat. It’s been around for years and with each new version, it gets a little bit better. It appreciates what it is, and it’s working to refine that. It’s respectable.

On the right, a cereal just like it, funny, crunchy, and tart. Only, instead of a sour kick at the back end of each bite, you get a sweet one. Gone are the familiar knives, replaced by tiny computer chips, watermelons, and teddy bears. Instead of the familiar character design, you’ve come to know and love there sits an imposter with a twisted face, mimicking the one you know. His face, misshapen as though in a parody of what came before: different but not wrong. Gone is the sinister sneer and in its place an innocent smile. Somehow it’s alluring, genuine, simultaneously knowing and ignorant of its legacy. The sensibility, off but not off-putting. Instead of an imitation, it feels separate, like an homage. It even says the milk will turn red, just the way you like.

Your curiosity has peaked. You reach for both boxes and examine the ingredients list and suddenly you identify the real difference. Where the original cereal and this imitation are both rich in Vitamin C, the original includes the staples of a processed, sugary breakfast. Meanwhile, the imitation is a mixed bag of organic ingredients and artificial sweeteners: a gamble. It might taste sweet but it's got no substance. You flip the boxes over, and something occurs to you that hadn’t until then. While both mascots are well-drawn and detailed, only the original's background and sidekicks seem on par in that regard. The imitation’s background is just the color red, while his sidekicks lack the depth or imagination that would make the leap from the box.

So what do you do? Do you eschew every new thing in favor of what’s come before or do you take a leap of faith and try something the same but different?

What the hell? You take the imitation home, tear it open, and pour yourself a bowl. Hesitant, you hold the spoon before your gaping mouth. What if this even sours you on the original? What if this whole endeavor has been a waste of your time? A silly thought. You close your eyes and shove the crunchy bits in your mouth. Before you knew it the whole bowl was gone, leaving a tiny puddle of red milk. To your great surprise, it tasted just fine.

RATING: “C”